


i'm telling you the truth (if you wanted honesty)

by SoloChaos



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, Gen, Implied/Referenced Non-Consensual Photographs, Self-Destruction, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-07 12:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3173900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloChaos/pseuds/SoloChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>forget romanticizing</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm telling you the truth (if you wanted honesty)

**Author's Note:**

> NO HAPPY ENDING. TRIGGERS FOR EATING DISORDERS AND REFERENCED PHOTOS OF SOMEONE BEING NAKED WITHOUT CONSENT, AS WELL AS REFERENCED THE "BEING ASKED OUT AS A DARE" SHITTY THING BECAUSE THAT MAY BE A TRIGGER. THIS IS NOT HAPPY.

Tyler walks into the boys’ bathroom, wincing when he hears the sound of someone throwing up in one of the stalls. Poor guy. Not a good way to start a week.

 

He’s washing his hands when the person stumbles out, pausing for a moment when he sees Tyler. The guy shrugs it off, though, and he goes to wash his hands.

 

“Do you want me to help you get to the nurse?” Tyler offers.

 

The guy- kid, really, he looks to be about the same age as Tyler- stares at him for one long moment before cracking a wry grin.

 

“I’m not sick,” the kid says quietly, drying his hands before taking a roll of mints out of his pocket.

 

“…what?” Tyler asks, stomach starting to sink with realization.

 

“I’m not sick,” he repeats, popping some mints into his mouth as he walks away.

 

 

 

Tyler may or may not be stalking the guy.

 

His name is Josh, as Tyler finds out. (The name sounds vaguely familiar. Maybe they met when Tyler was new to the school last year or something.) He’s a junior, friends with Debby Ryan, someone who everybody knows. Debby gets all the limelight, both good and bad (mostly bad), and Tyler supposes it’s understandable why no one has really noticed anything strange about Josh.

 

Josh is…

 

Josh is pretty cool, actually. He has a lip ring and dyed red hair shaved in a mohawk, along with pierced ears. It’s the kind of look Tyler has always kind of admired but never tried to pull off himself. He doubts he can.

 

They have the same period lunch together, something that Tyler hadn’t noticed before. He does his best to surreptitiously watch Josh eat as he nods to whatever Jenna is talking about.

 

“And the lights weren’t even— Tyler, are you even listening to me?” Jenna’s snapping her fingers in front of Tyler’s face.

 

“Sorry, sorry, what about the lights?” Tyler says, quickly turning his attention to Jenna.

 

She eyes him suspiciously but resumes her story. Tyler tries to listen, really, he does, but he stands up the moment he sees Josh stand up, his tray still on the table. 

 

“Bathroom,” Tyler mumbles at Jenna’s indignant look. He walks quickly to the closest bathroom, feeling anxiety building up in his chest.

 

He can already here the sounds of someone retching, and he winces. He makes his footsteps as loud as possible as he walks up to the stall and kneels.

 

“Hey,” Tyler says quietly.

 

He can hear what sounds like Josh spitting into the toilet before saying, “Are you stalking me?”

 

Tyler chuckles humorously. “A bit,” he admits. 

 

“Why?” Josh asks, sounding genuinely confused.

 

Tyler frowns. “Because I’m worried about you.”

 

“Why?” Josh repeats.

 

“Because you’re making yourself throw up,” Tyler says. “That… that’s not healthy.”

 

Josh sighs, and Tyler can see him leaning back and pressing his back against the door. “It’s just a diet,” he says quietly, and Tyler wants to scream a little.

 

“One, Josh, this is _not_ a diet,” he says, trying to keep his voice steady, “and two, you don’t _need_ to diet.”

 

“You don’t know what I look like under my clothes. Oh wait, yes, you do,” Josh says bitterly.

 

Tyler frowns. “What are you—”

 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Josh mutters.

 

Tyler decides not to press it. “Have you thought about talking to someone?” he tries instead. “Your parents? Debby?”

 

“They’ve all got too many things to worry about,” Josh says blandly. “Especially Debby.”

 

Tyler supposes that’s true. “But someone’s got to worry about you,” he says.

 

“You’re worrying about me,” Josh points out.

 

“I don’t count.”

 

“Who needs to be worried about now?”

 

“Josh.”

 

Josh sighs. “You’re kinda creepy. How do you even know my name?”

 

“I prefer to think of myself as observant.”

 

Josh laughs. “I don’t even know your name.”

 

“Tyler,” he says. “Tyler Joseph.”

 

“Dun. Josh Dun,” Josh says with a halfhearted attempt at a Sean Connery imitation. “But I’m sure you knew that already.”

 

“I did,” Tyler confirms with a small grin.

 

Josh snorts. “Will I be seeing you around here more then, Mr. Tyler Joseph?”

 

“Probably,” Tyler says. He will.

 

 

 

Tyler waits for three minutes after Josh leave the cafeteria the next day before going to follow him to the bathroom. 

 

Josh is assumedly done throwing up when Tyler walks in and sits down outside the stall.

 

“Hello,” Josh says. His voice sounds scratchy.

 

“Hi,” Tyler says quietly.

 

Josh sighs. “Do you want something from me?” he asks.

 

“I want you to stop making yourself throw up.”

 

“Besides that,” Josh says. “Do you want something?”

 

“No,” Tyler says.

 

“Everyone wants something.”

 

“I don’t.” He hears Josh’s snort and clarifies, “Not from you.”

 

“Why do you care so much?” Josh asks bitterly. “Nobody likes me. I’m a slut.”

 

Tyler blinks. Something is nagging at his memory, but he can’t quite think of what. “That doesn’t matter to me,” he says instead. “Sleeping with people doesn't diminish your value as a human being.”

 

Josh makes a noise somewhere between a snort and a sigh, and he doesn’t reply.

 

 

 

“Where do you go every day?” Jenna asks as Tyler gets up to follow Josh.

 

Tyler shrugs. “Nowhere.”

 

Jenna raises an eyebrow. “Okay,” she says slowly.

 

“Okay,” Tyler echoes, going to find Josh.

 

 

 

“Are you going to tell anyone about this?”

 

Tyler startles. Neither of them have spoken a word since he sat down outside the stall. “Uh, no. I don’t think so.” _Not today, at least._

 

“No one would believe you, anyways.”

 

They’re both quiet for a moment.

 

“How much do you weigh?” Tyler asks suddenly.

 

“That’s a bit personal, wouldn’t you say?” The humor in Josh’s voice sounds forced. As Tyler expected.

 

“How much do you weigh, Josh?” Tyler repeats, ignoring him.

 

Josh quiets. “One hundred and nineteen pounds.”

 

Tyler blinks. “Josh,” he says, unable to think of anything else to say. _“Josh.”_

 

Josh sounds vaguely amused as he says, “Yes, Tyler?”

 

“Josh, I… _Josh.”_ Not for the first time, Tyler wishes that the door of the bathroom stall isn't separating them. “God, Josh. That’s not… _Josh.”_

 

 

 

“If someone had a… an eating disorder,” Tyler asks quietly as he and Jenna walk from theater practice, “how would they… stop?”

 

Jenna frowns. “I don’t know,” she says thoughtfully. “I don’t have experience with that. Time, maybe?” She looks at him. “Why? Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” Tyler is saying as Jenna stops and grabs his wrists.

 

“Is that where you go after lunch?” she asks, eyes concerned. “Is that what’s going on?”

 

“No, no, no,” Tyler says quickly. “No, you’ve got it wrong.” 

 

“What’s going on, then?” Jenna demands, tightening her grip on Tyler’s wrists.

 

“There’s someone else,” he mumbles. “I go to… keep him company.”

 

Jenna stares at him for one long moment. “Okay,” she says, releasing his wrists. “Okay.”

 

“Okay,” Tyler says.

 

Jenna suddenly wraps her arms around him. He hugs her back, confused.

 

“What was that for?” he asks when they pull apart.

 

“You looked sad.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Okay.”

 

 

 

“I can’t do this at home.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“This,” Josh says. “I can’t throw up while at home.”

 

“Why not?” Tyler asks.

 

“There are five other people there,” Josh says, “and not that much space. They’d hear me.”

 

“Oh,” Tyler says softly.

 

Josh laughs humorlessly. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

 

“Because I’m listening?” Tyler offers.

 

“Maybe.” There’s movement, and Tyler can see Josh stretching through the crack in the stall door. “I lost a couple of pounds.”

 

“When are you going to stop?”

 

There’s silence, then an “I don’t know.”

 

 

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Debby Ryan looks up from her locker. “Yeah?” she says hesitantly. “Do you, um, need something?” She crosses her arms over her chest.

 

“Can I talk to you?” Tyler asks.

 

“I guess,” Debby says slowly.

 

“Can we talk about Josh?”

 

Debby’s facial expression shutters closed. “No,” she says stiffly, grabbing her backpack before slamming her locker shut.

 

“What- no, wait!”

 

“Don’t follow me!” Debby calls over her shoulder, glaring, and Tyler stops walking, bewildered.

 

 

 

Josh is on the verge of being seriously gaunt.

 

Tyler is seriously wondering how nobody’s noticed anything.

 

Josh and Debby are walking home, Tyler about a block behind them. Tyler’s humming to himself, not really paying attention to anything when he hears someone cry out.

 

Tyler’s head snaps up, and he just catches Josh hitting the ground. Right in the middle of the road they were crossing.

 

“Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh!” Debby is shrieking as she tries to pull Josh off the road, away from the cars that are speeding by. She’s not strong enough, though, and Josh’s body lies limply on the ground.

 

Tyler doesn't hesitate; he just runs and scoops Josh up, carrying him over to the sidewalk.

 

“Wha- wait!” Debby shouts, dashing after him. “Who the hell are you?!”

 

“I’m his friend,” Tyler says, carefully laying Josh down on the grass by the sidewalk. He presses his hand to Josh’s forehead. His skin is cold, clammy.

 

“Josh, can you hear me?” Debby whispers, grabbing Josh’s hand. Josh moans weakly, but he otherwise doesn’t react. “Oh, gosh, what’s wrong with him?” She’s touching Josh’s chest, his face. “Why- why is he so _skinny?”_

 

“He’s bulimic,” Tyler mutters as he fumbles for Josh's phone.

 

“Wha- what? _What?!”_

 

“Bulimic,” Tyler repeats.

 

“No!” Debby yelps, but the knuckles of the hand holding Josh’s are turning white, she’s gripping so tightly.

 

“What’s his passcode?” Tyler demands.

 

“Wha- wha- why?” Debby splutters.

 

“I need to call his parents,” Tyler says slowly, enunciating every syllable. “Can you tell me his passcode so I can call his parents?”

 

“4357,” Debby blurts, and Tyler unlocks Josh’s phone quickly, opening up contacts and picking the one that says “Mom”.

 

“Josh?” a woman on the other line says when she picks up.

 

“Mrs. Dun?” Tyler says.

 

There’s a pause before the woman says. “Yes. Who is this?”

 

“I’m Tyler,” he says. “Um. I need you to come here. Right now.”

 

 

 

“I should’ve seen it.”

 

Tyler looks up. “Hm?”

 

“That he was… doing that to himself,” Debby mumbles. “I’m his best friend. I should’ve seen it.”

 

They’re both sitting on the grass, waiting for Mrs. Dun. Josh’s head is on Debby’s lap.

 

Tyler shakes his head. “You have enough to deal with,” he says quietly.

 

Debby sighs, closing her eyes. “Yeah,” she murmurs, “but that doesn’t mean that I should’ve missed that my best friend was making himself throw up, oh, gosh.” Her voices catches. “I’m a horrible friend.”

 

“No, no, no,” Tyler assures her quickly. “No one’s blaming you.”

 

“Yeah…” Debby’s eyes suddenly widen. “Wait, are you the guy who tried to talk to me at my locker?”

 

“Uh, yeah.”

 

“Were you trying to talk to me about this?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Debby groans. “Gosh, I’m so sorry.”

 

“It’s okay,” Tyler says, even though it really isn’t.

 

Josh suddenly lets out a groan, stirring.

 

“Josh? Josh? Can you hear me?” Debby is suddenly asking. “Josh?”

 

Josh’s eyes slowly flutter open. “What happened?” he mumbles. Debby opens his mouth, but Josh’s gaze locks on Tyler, and his eyes widen.

 

“Did you- oh my god, what did you do to me?” Josh splutters, pulling away from Tyler as though he’s the plague. “What did you do? What did you _do?!”_

 

“Josh, hey, it’s me, it’s Debby, relax,” Debby is saying, trying to wrap Josh into a protective hug. “It’s okay.”

 

“Keep him away from me!” Josh whimpers, pointing to Tyler. “He… he did… he did _things…”_

 

“No, Josh, this is Tyler, remember? That was someone else,” Debby whispers as Josh lets out a small sob.

 

“I don’t want him here. He took those pictures, Deb, remember?” Josh says into Debby’s neck.

 

Debby is nodding, looking like she’s on the verge of bursting into tears. “Yes, Josh, I remember those pictures. But this isn’t him. That guy went off to college, remember?”

 

“I don’t want him here,” Josh repeats.

 

Utterly confused, Tyler busies himself with waving over the car with what looks to be a very anxious-looking middle-aged woman driving.

 

“Are you Mrs. Dun?” Tyler asks as the woman hops out of the car and dashes over to Josh.

 

“Yes, this is my son,” the woman says frantically, pulling her son out of Debby’s arms and into her own. “What happened?”

 

“He fainted,” Debby says, grabbing Josh’s hand. 

 

“Mom?” Josh says, voice starting to sound less slurred. “Mom, my head hurts.”

 

“Okay, sweetie,” Mrs. Dun says, hugging her son. “Do you know how this happened?”

 

“He…” Debby pauses, looking over to Tyler.

 

“He has an eating disorder,” Tyler says quietly.

 

Mrs. Dun freezes. “He… he has _what?”_

 

“An eating disorder,” Tyler repeats.

 

“How long have you known?” she asks.

 

“Maybe a month,” Tyler says.

 

“Okay,” Mrs. Dun says.

 

“Mom, he took those pictures, I don’t want him here,” Josh whimpers.

 

His mom freezes. “It was…?” she says, looking up at Tyler, who looks back with a confused expression on his face.

 

“No, that guy was a senior at the time,” Debby says quickly. “And that happened two years ago.”

 

“I don’t want him here,” Josh repeats.

 

“That’s not him, Josh, that’s not him,” Debby says quickly. “He’s not going to do anything to you.”

 

“I… I hate you!” Josh spits at Tyler, who jerks back. “I hate you!” 

 

“No, no,” Mrs. Dun is saying, “that’s not him, that’s not _him.”_

 

“I _hate_ you,” Josh says angrily, eyes staring directly into Tyler’s.

 

 

 

“What was he talking about?” 

 

“Mm?” Debby asks, looking up from her locker and at Tyler.

 

“The pictures,” Tyler says. “Who did he think I was?”

 

Debby sighs, leaning against her locker door. “He dated a senior when he was a freshmen,” she says quietly. “He didn’t know the guy was only doing it for a dare.”

 

Guy? Tyler didn’t know that Josh was gay. Then again, it’s really not surprising that Josh keeps it quiet, especially after seeing the way Debby’s been treated.

 

“Oh,” he says quietly.

 

“The senior took him to a party,” Debby says, “and he drugged him. When Josh passed out, the senior…” She squeezes her eyes shut. “The senior stripped him. Took pictures of him as proof that he went through with the dare. And… and he posted them online. Everywhere.”

 

“God,” Tyler whispers. Everything he’s heard about Josh is starting to come back to him. He was told about Josh when he moved into the area, but he wasn't really paying attention at the time…

 

“He must’ve thought it was you,” Debby explains softly. “When he woke up. The situation was very similar. I was there, comforting him, and that guy was standing there, staring at. You… you even look like the guy. Kind of.”

 

“Oh,” Tyler says. It’s really all he can say.

 

 

 

It’s a couple days before Debby brings Tyler to Josh’s house. Mrs. Dun is kind enough, but she seems short on temper.

 

“Hi,” Josh says when Tyler walks into the living room where he’s sitting on the couch before the TV.

 

“Hello,” Tyler says quietly, sitting down next to him.

 

They’re both quiet for what must be at least twenty minutes before Josh says, “So, why are you here?”

 

“Are you kidding?” Tyler asks, turning to face Josh.

 

Josh blinks at him. “No.”

 

Tyler is speechless for a moment. “I… Josh, I saw you pass out in the middle of the road. Of course I’m going to want to make sure that you’re all right.”

 

“‘Of course?’” Josh echoes, raising an eyebrow. “What do you mean, ‘of course’?”

 

“I’m the only one who cared to notice,” Tyler points out. “I cared. I noticed. Of course I—”

 

“People notice,” Josh interrupts. “‘My, Josh, you’re looking a bit too skinny.’ ‘Ew, your teeth are gray. And your fingers are all scratched.’ ‘I heard you throwing up. You do that a lot. You’re really skinny.’” He chuckles dryly. “People notice, Tyler. It’s just that no one does anything. Not even you.” 

 

Tyler blinks. “But… but I visited you. Every day.”

 

“Did that stop me?” Josh asks. “No. I still force my fingers down my throat. You made no difference at all.”

 

Tyler swallows hard.

 

They don’t speak again until Tyler has to leave.

 

 

 

Tyler eats dinner, thinking about Josh the entire time. His mom asks how things are going at school, and he tells her that they’re fine.

 

Later, as he’s walking to his bedroom, he passes by the hallway bathroom. For some reason he’s not entirely sure of, he walks in and locks the door behind him.

 

Tyler pauses, staring at the toilet.

 

As if in a trance, he kneels down in front of it.

 

Experimentally, he sticks two of his fingers down his throat.

**Author's Note:**

> I may write a prequel. I am so sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> Fun fact: this was originally a hot n ready fic but then I decided that hot n ready isn't, y'know, ready for a fic like this.


End file.
